Sometimes how we act is determined by the other having a particularly exuberant personality, or perhaps the opposite…but this can happen with any body, it is not particular to those from our pasts. The thing I find more interesting is that our personality traits (around said other)
can be liked to all the mini-details of life when you were friends. Perhaps it’s not all of life, perhaps its just particular circumstances that created a different set of traits in you for a time, either way, people act as little linkages to our pasts in a way powerful enough to make as act and feel as though we were there again.
Recently, a great friend from school returned from England where she has spent the last 10 months. We caught up for dinner. Allot has happened since I saw her last. I have a fiancé now, I work full time, I pay bills and buy groceries, I’m more level headed and go to bed much earlier, I’m interested in kitchen appliances and comparing broadband deals, I am less easily excited, less sarcastic and less worked up. I’ve changed a fair bit. However, from the moment we sat down for dinner my light hearted humour that got me through the last few years of high school returned to me, she was in stitches as she had been through many an art class or drama lesso
n. It was clear that there were parts of me that went to England and back and that only come out of the shadows when she is around to shine light on them.
I had a similar experience last Sunday when we visited uni church. Josh and I were standing around, joking as we usually do, meeting new people here and there, and then I suddenly spotted a boy, who 4 or 5 years ago would turn me silly in an instant. Unfortunately he happened to sit behind us in the service and for a little while (until Josh grabbed my hand and I remember who I was) I became the same self conscious, self absorbed girl I was when I knew him. To clarify, there is nothing about this boy that would or could make me go silly now, but he acted as a link to my 14 year old self in such a real way, it was fascinating.
So much of us (more for some than others I would imagine) is determined by those who surround us. Our humour, preferences, priorities, temptations are moulded and shaped by
those we spend time with. If our identity is in Christ, he has a perfect design for the unity of his people (You can see snippets of it in Ephesians 4, Psalm 133, Romans 15:1-13, Colossians 3:12-15). God, as our maker, knows what we are like, he knows how we absorb one another, our personalities thriving on and rebelling against aspects it sees in another. He has designed believers to exist with other believers. I am so thankful for those I get to absorb each day. Thankyou for your humour, preferences, priorities and temptations. Gods design is good.
HSC Drama with friend mentioned above
While I had hoped for a lengthy series, outlining the perfect Christian diet, with black and white directions on what is right and wrong, this is not what I’ve come up with. As I mentioned in one of my comments I have been trying to seek wisdom on whether healthy eating is important or not so that i can throw myself into a no carb,low fat diet or feel justified in my nonchalant eating…And as I mentioned there, perhaps neither of these options are good.
Throughout many parts of the bible we are shown that perseverance, self control, day to day wisdom and discernment are pleasing to God and necessary for our growth to maturity. When it comes to dealing with good things God has created, in a world that perverts and idolizes, explicit, extremist instruction is a rarity. There is often a grey area, unique circumstances and things to factor in.
We are to have children where able as they are a blessing from God, but we are not to parent badly for the sake of having more children. We are to love, share with, understand and participate in the lives of non-christians but we are not to pretend we are the same as them. We are to steward our money well, but we are not to chase after it as an idol. We are to speak the truth of the gospel openly, regularly and to all who will hear, but we are not to harass or attack.
When it comes to how we do family, friendships, money, evangelism etc. we are required to employ degrees of self control and shrewdness on a day to day level, as we seek out God’s glory above our own. I have come to the conclusion that how we do food is the same. If I am eating for the glory of God and the care of others, sometimes (eg. Lunch at work or home) I will say no to the things I don’t need and just want, choosing much healthier options. Other times (eg. Dinner with friends) I will enjoy treats in a free and thankful, un-enslaved way.
Eating well is important. God has given me a body to do his work. I will not trash his temple. God has also designed my body to store energy as fat and to use food as fuel and that’s good too.
Lord God give us the strength and wisdom to love you more than food and to love your glory more than my own pleasure. Let food, health and self awareness not become idols or captures as we experience your goodness in giving them to us.
367 days ago…
I was post school but pre HSC.
I was probably going to marry a guitar playing, hair swishing, pastors kid.
I was probably very proud.
I was very single.
When Josh started asking me out I said no, 3 times. The first 2, rightfully so. His hair didn’t flick and he didn’t play the guitar. He was a hard working tradesman who liked dirt bikes and hated churchy events. None of these reasons were valid, but he was also not a Christian, so I said no. Further down the track this last reason changed. But I was I was still caught up on my plans for my future husband, ignoring all that God had put in front of me.
He hadn’t learnt to play guitar and his dad hadn’t suddenly become a pastor but the Holy Spirit was transforming his heart to be like Jesus. He had a longing to lead well and to provide for me. He understood that he was sinful and that nothing he could do was good enough to reconcile himself to God. He understood that he must do things the way God had designed for them to be done, in obedience to King Jesus. So
365 days ago…
I said yes.
I thought I had made a big mistake.
I was very wrong.
A year later I find myself engaged to a mature man of God – who thrives off looking after kids and helping people out without any expectation of thanks or reward. Who is kind to me and others and tries to look for Gods glory rather then his own. Who’s parents love us both, lead by example and teach us regularly how to be godly. Who leads well, works hard and is of course unbelievably handsome.
Looking back on the last 12 months I can see my pride. How wrong I was to think that my plans and expectations for my life were any better than Gods! How wrong I was to think that a mans godliness could be measured by how musical, emotional and easy going he appeared rather than how hard working, committed to provision and keen to lead he was. How wrong I was to think that marriage was for my enjoyment or comfort rather than Gods service.
How thankful I am that God is bigger than my foolishness and kinder than I was, in giving me a man who longs to love me as Christ loved the church.
I love you JPM, happy anniversary.
